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班 级:智涵幼儿园(IC2)班
制作人:王硕华妈妈
指导老师:张华芮老师
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不少的父母认为,鼓励能让孩子取得更大的进步,但是却没有意识到,这样一个不起眼的举动竟然会对孩子造成这么严重的负面影响。很多时候,父母夸奖孩子,都是出于一定原因的,我认为大致可以总结为以下三种。
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一是为了让孩子恢复信心
信心是孩子能否顺利实现目标的重要保障,失去自信的孩子无论面对多么简单的一件事,都有失败的可能性,因为他们还没开始做,就已经觉得自己不能做好。父母夸奖孩子,很多时候都是希望孩子可以更好的相信自己的能力,大胆的去尝试,没曾想,把握不好夸奖的程度,反而会让孩子陷入另外一个极端。
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二是为了让孩子更加出色
孩子取得不错的成绩,父母会加以称赞,希望这样的鼓励可以让孩子在接下来的学习生活中取得更好的进步。但是,这样发自内心的赞赏如果失去限度,孩子就会得意忘形,不但不能取得突破,而且会对自己的能力作出过高的评价,这种评价不容被质疑与否定,孩子以后只愿接受赞扬,不愿接受批评与建议。
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三是为了满足自身的“虚荣心”
这一点更多时候是父母的私心在作祟。每一位父 母都希望自己的孩子能够成为优秀的人,因此在外人面前,他们对自己孩子的评价常常谈优避劣。一旦这种评价有失偏颇,孩子会在潜移默化之中对自己产生过高的评估,自负心理也就不请自来了。
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要想避开赞赏的过度化,父母应该了解什么样的赞赏是过度的,只有这样,才能更好的找到应对的方法。对此,将过度''吹捧''的特征总结为以下三个方面。
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·背离真实的情况
·具有迷惑性
·具有强烈的主观意识
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对此,父母应该采取什么样的方法加以应对呢?
让称赞源于表现而终于表现在对孩子所取得的成绩进行评价时,父母应该明确孩子在这件事情当中的表现究竟如何,最后给出的称赞必须源自于孩子的表现。
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同时,父母在给出称赞以后,不能让孩子将这种称赞带到其他方面,例如孩子学习成绩很好,父母予以肯定,但是这样的肯定仅限于学习方面,因为积极评价会让孩子淡化自己其他方面的不足。
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奖诫并行,避免产生自负心理父母对孩子进行一定的褒奖以后,应该时刻提醒孩子戒骄戒躁,让孩子向更加优秀的人们看齐,以他们为榜样不断超越自己,而不能故步自封,自以为是。淡化外界评价,以之为援,行事遵从本心。面对外界评价,父母要让孩子加以分辨,对于不合理的评价,无论褒贬,都要淡化对它们的在意程度。面对客观的评价,要虚心接受,“忠言逆耳”,但“利于行”。
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此外,孩子要有自主意识,这里的自主与自负不同,自主的孩子会量力而行,拥有自己的想法同时也能把握分寸,不会人云亦云,随波逐流的人。
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